What I don't miss about my eating disorder: When I walked out of a residential inpatient facility after 12 days and my big sister called me on my cell phone and begged me not to leave. When I told her I was already at the airport she broke down crying. I don't miss that conversation, or what it felt like to hear the desperation in her pleas and her cries. I chose my eating disorder over myself, over my family. That makes me sad, I felt ashamed. It made me angry later and it breaks my heart now. I don't miss when my eating disorder was more important than my family, more important than my life.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder: In my family, we eat at the table, as a family. We always have, and I'm not going to miss sitting at the table with an empty plate.
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