What I don't miss about my eating disorder: In 2008 I missed out on an AWESOME Halloween party with my friends because I was in the hospital. I didn't get to help decorate (which I love) and I didn't get to help make all the fun Halloween themes snacks ... which is my ultimate love! I had to experience it all through pictures, which sucked. It looked so fun! Everyone in costumes, drinking and eating and dancing and playing games! I also missed the presidential election that followed almost a week later. History was being made and I could only watch it on the TV from my hospital bed, a bed armed with an ear piercing alarm if I got off it. This was the stay when I learned I only had one kidney and it was in renal failure because of my eating disorder. As I start planning for one of my little sister's baby shower, I don't miss when I was too sick to be able to do these things! I don't miss having to miss out.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder: Being, at times, impatient with my recovery. Some days I am so done with it because I just want to be recovered, I want to be done with my eating disorder. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. There is a process, there is everything to learn, like in the same way that an infant is not born into the world walking and talking and potty trained! It takes time to do it right so it works.
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