What I don't miss about my eating disorder: Not knowing and believing with every ounce of me, that what I don't want is to be sick any more. Today was particularly emotional and I was forced to come face to face with my belief of my own recovery. And I feel more confident than ever that I am doing the impossible for me, because of what I want for my life. I don't miss being ambivalent about recovering and I fully understand and believe the reasons why I'm doing this, and those reasons are worth this. I am worth this.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder: I won't miss the emotional toll my eating disorder takes on me. Days like today when I can't stop crying. It's good, because I'm allowing myself to process this, usually I go into auto pilot and turn everything off. Everything is new, and everything is overwhelming, eventually all this will be second nature and I won't be so sad and overwhelmed and when that day comes, I will continue to not miss it.
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