What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: The days when I was too sick to be awake. While my body was literally shutting down the only way it could cope and most likely the only reason I survived during that time, was by sleeping. And it wasn't a choice. It was like self induced hypersleep. Having my MD come to my house, carry me to his car and personally driving me to the ER ... Not a particularly proud day for me. It was very embarrassing and shameful experience. Partly because I couldn't even comprehend what was going on.
What I'm NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: Crybaby mornings. This experience of putting my worst moments and my most hopeful hopes out here for anyone and myself to read has not been as easy a task as I thought. It makes my eating disorder much more raw and real to me, forcing myself to really see where I've been and it is at times embarrassing and painful. You go through all these experiences and disassociate yourself from them as if it's a story and not a memory. Facing it is really challenging.
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