What I don't miss about my eating disorder: A year and a half ago, when I first came back to see Scarlett, I had my feeding tube that I sometimes used, and an intake that consisted of ensure, if I felt like I needed it or wanted it. Now? I've been consistent with daily intake of Ensures and a nightly intake on my feeding tube. I don't miss living off of air, expecting my body to heal itself. I like my stability and consistency.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder: When I get ickly sick and have to decide when Im ok to stay home, rest and tough it out ... or make the decision of defeat and go to the ER. That time spent grappling between wanting to be well enough and strong enough and not wanting to concede to the fact that my eating disorder has taken my health and nothing in me is strong enough to handle a simple cold or flu ... I'm not going to miss having to make that decision.
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