I need a hobby. I have decided that I'm unusually boring these days. Sitting in my bed feeling sorry for myself makes me feel icky, like I'm wasting space. I feel like I was more of a human when I was active in my eating disorder. I need to figure out how to get that person back ... sans eating disorder, of course.
I had this project once, that I worked on every night when I didn't sleep. Instead of laying lame in my bed staring at the ceiling I sat on my floor, spread out all my art supplies, turned on my music and went to town. It was meditative for me, calming. A way to express what I was feeling without having to speak. I had it for at least 10 years and then one day I just stopped. I don't even know where it is. Tonight I'm going to start my project over. I'm going to start being more interesting in my life.
Kidney update: Barf, I don't even want to talk about it.
What I don't miss about my eating disorder this far in my recovery today: Not sure. I'm kind of a Negative Nancy today so I'm drawing a blank on the positives.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder when I'm recovered: Obviously the boring me. I need more substance, so I'm going to create it. And Ensures, I'm still sick of Ensures.
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