Holiday Eating and Feelings

The top three hits to come up after typing in “holiday eating” on Google are HOLIDAY EATING FACTS, HOLIDAY EATING TIPS and HOLIDAY EATING STRATEGIES. Clearly, people have questions about how to “do” holiday eating. For some, it can bring up a variety of different emotions including excitement, comfort, frustration and guilt, among others. One minute, we’re anxiously excited about the freshly baked pumpkin pie that just came out of the oven. Moments later, comments of “I shouldn’t” or “this is so bad for me” or“next week, I’ll be good” are numerous around the Thanksgiving table. These judgments take away from theenjoyment of the holiday meal and distract from conversationsthat may be more meaningful.

Food is nourishment to our bodies, and is something we get toenjoy. If you are fortunate to have taste buds, you are one that gets to embrace the many different flavors and aromas that food has to offer. And come time for the holidays, these realities don’t change. In addition to nourishment and enjoyment, we have the opportunity to share food with others and create or maintain traditions that provide meaning and joy to our lives. Without ourdeeper values being met, the delicious holiday foods would fuel us physically but leave us otherwise dissatisfied.

Thus, these traditions – some which may connect to our deeper values -- do not end in the kitchen. They infiltrate our lives -unbeknownst to us at times - in unique ways around the holidays. Whether it’s playing a rousing game of cards after aThanksgiving meal, taking an afternoon stroll to the park, sleeping under a fir tree on Christmas Eve, or sharing holidaymeals with family and friends. Traditions are a way to join together in something meaningful and share it with others. For many, food is a sure foundation to these traditions. Whether it’s your cousin’s sweet potatoes, your aunt’s famous apple pie or a good ol’ side of cranberry sauce, food is nourishment to our bodies and may help us connect to the deeper joys of life: connection with people, laughter, sharing, giving, or whateverother value that is dear to you.

So my advice for Holiday Eating: Enjoy the delicious holiday meals this year. Embrace your traditions, memories and comingexperiences to be had. And do not neglect that which is most valuable to you this time of year.

 

Rachel Myhre, MS, RD, CD

 

 

Between a Kidney and a Sick Place

Sometimes I feel like the only reason I get back on track is so that I can get derailed. I'm starting to think that I secretly enjoy it in some sick twisted way. I mean, after all  I *am sick. I even have the T-Shirt. It says right on it: S I C K. 
The kidney shit has got me bummed out but I try not to think about it. I'm not ready to fully embrace the reality surrounding this whole dilemma ... And for now that's cool with me. Long story short, I have exactly 1 kidney kidney and it doesn't want to work anymore. I think it's retiring. I think I've pretty much beat the shit out of it and so now it's decided to beat the shit out of me. For the moment I'm living in a state of kind of denial. I understand what's going on but I'm exercising my right to compartmentalize and avoid emotional tags. 
I don't think I'm mentally prepared to handle the road this is going to take me on yet. All the terminology makes the whole thing sound so much more dramatic than it really is ... and I don't mean to minimize here, but you kind of have to. If I walked up to you and said I had Stage 4 Kidney Disease and have just completed a series of Venofer infusions you would think I was going to die tomorrow. It sounds like Cancer, Stage 4. You'd have no idea that what that means is my kidney has a GFR of 22, which you could potentially live with for the rest of your life with minimal life style changes and that Venofer is a fancy word for Iron. Or that I'm waiting for EPO injections so that my bone marrow will produce more red blood cells and my hemoglobin will get out of the range of needing a blood transfusion simply means my thigh is going to be in pain after the needle goes into my muscle for the shot. 
And ALL of this is just fireworks and smoke and illusions to cover up the other reality that I am also in the midst of recovering from a raging eating disorder. I'm still trying to figure it out in my head. Am I a kidney patient or am I an eating disorder patient? I don't even fucking know how to merge the two. Can I honestly do everything I can to save my kidney and still have an eating disorder? Can I just "get over" my eating disorder to save my kidney? No, I can't. I don't know how to. If it were that easy, if it were as simple as trading one for the other I think I would have found something positive to substitute it by now. I can't just stop being sick because now my kidney is sick. I wish I could just turn it off like that. I wish it were that simple. 
And so the guilt is horrendous. Why can't I just do what I'm supposed to do and stop these crazy thoughts? Why aren't the eating disorder thoughts and distortions stopping? Why can't I say 8 Ensures? Why not 9 or 10, let's just drink em until I'm at a healthy weight? Dive into this head first? Because it's a disease, that's why. Because it's not a fucking choice, that's why.

B is for Boring

I need a hobby. I have decided that I'm unusually boring these days. Sitting in my bed feeling sorry for myself makes me feel icky, like I'm wasting space. I feel like I was more of a human when I was active in my eating disorder. I need to figure out how to get that person back ... sans eating disorder, of course.
I had this project once, that I worked on every night when I didn't sleep. Instead of laying lame in my bed staring at the ceiling I sat on my floor, spread out all my art supplies, turned on my music and went to town. It was meditative for me, calming. A way to express what I was feeling without having to speak. I had it for at least 10 years and then one day I just stopped. I don't even know where it is. Tonight I'm going to start my project over. I'm going to start being more interesting in my life.
Kidney update: Barf, I don't even want to talk about it.
What I don't miss about my eating disorder this far in my recovery today: Not sure. I'm kind of a Negative Nancy today so I'm drawing a blank on the positives.
What I'm not going to miss about my eating disorder when I'm recovered: Obviously the boring me. I need more substance, so I'm going to create it. And Ensures, I'm still sick of Ensures.

Still, Stuck, and Paralyzed

I'm sitting in my bed at 3:40am experiencing the biggest Ambien FAIL known to man and I realize that I don't know how to feel what I'm feeling right now and it's pouring out my eyeballs. I'm overwhelmed. I think I'm having a normal "healthy" reaction to what's happening in my life. I feel a little withdrawn because I'm afraid that if I put myself in a social situation right now, I'm going to burst into tears in the middle of a conversation that I wouldn't even be paying attention to and wouldn't be able to explain why.  I'm not sad, although I can't seem to stop crying. I'm exhausted, although I can't seem to sleep. I should be focusing on my intake and my recovery and not falling in to my eating disorder, although I don't feel like consuming anything. I believe this to be normal but it feels so foreign to me. With my eating disorder, whether or not I starved myself or ate, there was a desire either way. A desire to refuse the food or a desire to eat it. A desire to fight it or give in. There was something there, some kind of feeling. Right now, I don't feel anything either way, except that I don't like it and have no desire to change it right now. I expect this will change after I finally get sleep, and then a hundred times over again. 

18 Surprising Dairy-Free Sources of Calcium: by Laura Schwecherl

18 Surprising Dairy-Free Sources of Calcium

by Laura Schwecherl 

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Fun fact: Calcium is the most abundant mineral in the body, and is found naturally in a wide variety of foods and beverages and added to many others! (Hellooo orange juice.) But whether lactose-intolerant or sick of wine and cheese parties, there’s no need to rely only on dairy products for that daily dose of calcium. Here’s why we should get enough calcium — and all the unexpected ways to get enough of it.

Beyond the Dairy Aisle  — The Need-to-Know

It’s no secret that calcium is vital for strong bones and teeth, but boy does it go beyond just that. This mineral also helps the body maintain healthy blood vessels, regulate blood pressure, and even prevent insulin resistance (which could lead to Type 2 diabetes)^[1]. Adults should consume about1,000 mg of calcium per day (which you can easily in 24 hours from one glass of skim milk, one thick slice of cheddar cheese, and one cup of plain yogurt), yet most Americans still fail to meet the mark. According to one survey, only 16 percent of females ages 20 to 29 females get enough calcium!!!^[2].

The main calcium contenders are milk, yogurt, and cheese, but dairy shouldn't be the only dietary pit stop to fill up on this nutrient. Leafy greens, seafood, legumes, and fruit also contain calcium and many foods and drinks are fortified with the mineral. Just remember to try and pair non-dairy sources of calcium with vitamin D: The body needs vitamin D to help absorb calcium!

Craving Calcium? — Your Action Plan

Here’s a list of foods and beverages filled with calcium (no cows required!), along with recipes to help make them an everyday occurrence in a variety of meals.

Natural Calcium

Most Americans aren’t get enough nutrients through natural foods alone, and rely on enriched foods and supplements too^[3]. So sail down the grocery aisle and stock up on these items, au natural!

1. Sardines: 321 mg (32% DV) in about 7 sardines fillets
There’s nothing fishy about sardines — they are one of the healthiest fish to munch on! Along with calcium, they also provide a hefty dose of omega 3’s and vitamin D. Try adding them to a Greek salad or eat em straight out of the can.

2. Canned Salmon: 232 mg (23% DV) in ½ can with bones (which provides the calcium!)
To avoid putting a dent in the wallet, canned salmon is a great way to go. Here’s the catch: It’s the bones in canned salmon that hold all the calcium, so they need to be mashed up right along with the salmon meat for all the benefits! But don’t get turned off just yet — the canning process softens the bones so they easily break apart and are unnoticeable when mixed in with the rest of the can’s contents. For a boost of calcium and omega 3’s, try these salmon cakes.

3. Kale: 188 mg (19% DV) in 2 cups raw (chopped)
This superfood is filled with calcium and antioxidants, and is perfect to use as the base of any salad when shredded into thin strips. A kale salad with apricots and avocado is a perfect summer dish.

4. Black-eyed Peas: 185 mg (18% DV) in 1/2 cup canned
I gotta feeling this is not just a band. These beans are filled with calcium, potassium, folate, and more! Skip the fat-filled mayo and whip up this black-eyed pea spread to pump up any sandwich or appetizer.

5. Blackstrap Molasses: 172 mg (17% DV) in 1 tablespoon
When the sweet tooth strikes, it’s best to go the natural route. Blackstrap molasses is darker in color and richer in flavor than regular molasses, and is filled with calcium, iron, and other vitamins. Plus, it’s a great sweet and flavorful addition to many dishes. Drizzle some on pancakes, or use it to make brown sugar.

6. White Beans: 191 mg (19% DV) in 1 cup canned
Creamy and light, these legumes are a great source of calcium and iron^[4]. Add them to a pasta dish with veggies, or skip the chickpeas and make your own hummus with white beans.

7. Seaweed: 126 mg (13% DV) in about 1 cup raw
Fish aren’t the only, well, fish in the sea. Seaweed is full of calcium, fiber, and iodine, which helps with proper thyroid function^[5][6]. Bring a bowl of risotto up a notch with this seaweed recipe. Feel like keeping it classic? Try your hand at a classic miso soup.

8. Dried Figs: 107 mg (10% DV) in 8 whole dried figs
For a sweet treat, this dried fruit packs an antioxidant, fiber, and calcium punch^[7]. Eat em as a mid-day snack, or turn these delicious dried fruits into a creamy jam.

9. Turnip Greens: 197 mg (20% DV) in 1 cup cooked (chopped)
This leafy green comes from turnip bulbs, and is filled with calcium, antioxidants, and folate, which could help improve mood. Sautee them as a side dish, or spice things up and make a turnip tart!

10. Sesame Seeds: 88 mg (9% DV) in 1 tablespoon
These unassuming seeds are more than just a hamburger bun decoration. Sesame seeds can help lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation, and may even fight against certain cancers. Use their nutty crunch in a salad, or add to this sautéed spinach dish.

11. Bok Choy: 74 mg (7% DV) in 1 cup
This versatile Chinese cabbage provides a hefty dose of vitamins A and C, along with calcium and fiber. Stir-fry bok choy with garlic and olive oil for a perfect side dish.

12. Almonds: 72 mg (7% DV) in ¼ cup dry roasted (about 20 nuts)
You’re nuts if you don’t grab a handful of almonds every now and then! They’re the most nutritionally dense nut, packing a crazy amounts of nutrients per calorie and ounce. Aside from calcium, they also contain potassium, vitamin E, and iron. Sprinkle on a salad or make your own almond butter. Just watch out for portion size!

13. Oranges: 65 mg (6% DV) in 1 medium fruit
Orange-you glad we included oranges?! Full of vitamin C and calcium, enjoy this fruit as a mid-morning snack, or use its citrus flavor to brighten up any dish, like these honey-orange carrots.

Fortified with Calcium

Fortifying foods with calcium has become a popular way to help people consume a balanced diet, but some studies do suggest eating foods with naturally occurring nutrients is the better route to take^[8][9][10]. So just make sure you’re not only reaching for the fortified kinds!

14. Firm Tofu: 861 mg (86% DV) in ½ cup
We know what you’re thinking: What exactly is tofu? This meaty textured vegetarian alternative is actually made of dried soybeans that have been grounded up and boiled. It’s a great way to add lots of protein, little fat, and (of course) calcium to any meal! What’s on the dinner table tonight? Try thiscaramelized tofu.

15. Orange Juice: 500 mg (50% DV) in 1 cup
In moderation, fruit juice is a perfect pairing for morning pancakes or eggs! Enjoy a tall glass for calcium and vitamin C, or pour over a salmon fillet.

16. Soymilk: 300 mg (30% DV) in 1 cup
Cows milk not your cup of tea? Soymilk isn’t actually milk, so is a great option for people who are lactose intolerant. It also contains more protein than regular milk. Pour in a morning bowl of cereal or add to coffee with some cinnamon.

17. Instant Oatmeal: 187 mg (19% DV) in 1 cup
Many cereals and grains are now fortified, including our favorite morning breakfast. And while the instant kind doesn’t boast the same benefits as old-fashioned rolled oats, they’re a quick breakfast option that’s full of fiber and calcium. Just choose the kinds without added sugar!

18. Cheerios: 114 mg (14% DV) in 1 cup
They’re touted for helping lower cholesterol, but Cheerios also pack a significant amount of calcium into our cereal bowl. Enjoy with skim or soy milk and sliced strawberries, or in home-made trail mixfor extra crunch.