Destination Recover(ed): Day 9

August 24, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: You know what I really don't miss? Feeling incapable. Being so completely blinded by my eating disorder that I couldn't even comprehend the fact that life existed outside of the realm that was my eating disorder. I lived in a house for 9 years and never once realized the wallpaper in the bathroom was bamboo.

What I'm NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: Not being allowed to go to work. I mean vacation is nice and all but when you're on "vacation" you're supposed to go somwhere fun in the sun and laugh and frolic and play... somewhere like Disneyland! I definitely don't see Minnie Mouse running around here. No, this is definitely NOT Disneyland. Unless you consider Ramey Nutrition the Magic Kingdom and Scarlett is secretly Walt Disney...

Destination Recover(ed): Day 8

August 23, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: People Movers. That ridiculous golf cart you have to ride at one of the residential treatments I was in. You're not allowed to walk. Anywhere. For any reason. No walking, no standing, no unnecessary movement. No kidding.

What I'm NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: That panickey upset mad distressed feeling when I wake up in the morning and realize I fell asleep before running my feeding tube and I know I am not getting away with it without making it up because there were no tf on and tf done texts to Scarlett and she makes you be accountable ... Even if it'll kill you to do it and you think you can't. You just have to do it anyway.

Restorative Yoga Tonight 6:30pm!

Our Gentle Yoga is a meditative gentle experience welcome to all with different levels of flexibility and strength. Our instructor individualizes movements to maximize relaxation, flexibility and stress reduction. Our goal is stress management, and allowing people to truly “be” with themselves for an hour and feel where their bodies need care, emotionally, or physically.

Destination Recover(ed): Day 7

August 22, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: I don't miss being on a first name basis with the ER and the entire telemetry floor at the hospital. I don't miss that look on the doctors and nurses faces when they recognize me because I've been in 15 or 20 times. It's been 9 months since my last hospitalization. Go Me!

What I am NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: Hearing that dang Kangaroo feeding pump beeping at a god awful hour every morning and the sound it makes all night long while it runs...

Destination Recover(ed): Day 6

August 21, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: Watching my dad break down and cry and quietly say, "I will give up everything for you to be better." I will forever NOT MISS that.

What I'm NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: Bed Sores. Can I just say "Seriously?!" Seriously.

Destination Recover(ed): Day 5

August 20, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: Being snapped at. My brain function slowed way down and I would dissassociate constantly. When I was at an eating disorder treatment center in Bellevue, my psychiatrist was always snapping her fingers at me in group and individual therapy. My comprehension was gone, I could not carry a conversation or socially interact because my brain wasn't functioning. The worst was when I was with friends and I couldn't keep up with their lives.

What I'm NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: weight restoration. It. SUCKS. I know I just became consistent and stable but I know this is coming and I do not look forward to when it really starts. I've experienced it on a small scale before (haha no pun intended) and so I know it's not going to be fun. BUT it is part of the process, part of recovering and so it kind of has to be done.

Destination Recover(ed) Day 4

August 19, 2012

What I DON'T MISS about my eating disorder: Daily blood draws. I can think of way more productive activities. Watching ice melt may or may not be one of them.

What I am NOT GOING TO MISS about my eating disorder: The days lost to sadness. While I know it's unreasonable to think that I'm never going to have have sad moments or days or maybe even slumps, I hope to be able to experience less of them. I hope that I will be able to embrace them and be accepting of the feelings, knowing that I am just as capable of feeling blessed, loved and happy. and like Scarlett said, "You can wake up and 'not miss' them tomorrow".